Mourning Our Losses
In our abortion experience, we may carry emotional pain and grief due to the losses we experienced. In the healing process, it is essential to mourn our losses. This will help us better understand our pain, better understand ourselves, and come to place of acceptance and letting go eventually.
The first step to mourning our losses is to identify our losses in the abortion experience and accept these losses as factual terms.
I would like to invite you to take as much time as you need to think through the following and write them down. You may like to share your insights with us in our online support group.
- What losses have you gone through as a result of the abortion?
- How do these losses make you feel?
This exercise is important as we process through our losses and the emotional pain attached to these losses. It may not be easy, but would encourage you to go through with this exercise.
As for me, I was trying to think back about the losses I wrote down many years back. I'm sure that was quite a long list. Two major losses stuck with me for a very long time .
The first one was the loss of my baby. The loss of having a baby to call my own, to watch him grow up, take his first steps, etc. To me, that's probably the biggest loss. Sometimes when I hang out with my nieces, I would catch myself thinking what it would have been like to watch my own boy grow up. I used to pine for him. I'd miss him so much, think about him often. Over the years, God has shown my glimpses of him and I believe one day we will meet again and hang out for all eternity. ❤️
Another major loss was the loss of myself. I felt like I lost myself, my character, my integrity and values and my dignity. I felt like I completely lost my sense of self. From thinking I was a pretty good person to suddenly seeing myself as one of the worst person on earth was crushing and difficult to accept. It took alot time for me to acknowlege and accept my wretchedness as a human, that I am not perfect and that I don't have to be perfect, and then later on learning and slowly believing that I am still worthy of love despite my imperfections.
If you’d like someone to go through this together with you, please feel free to contact us or join our online support group.
